-Sigh- Some days I think that I am doing good. Going strong. Making it. And then there are days where I feel like a broken sewing machine and I am not holding anything together.
I just wish that things would settle out and life would make sense.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Growing Up
Been nearly a year between posts, and I realize suddenly the need for a journal. The help that I need in my life when things seem to go wrong. Granted I am a twenty five year old whose whole life seems to have gone wrong, but it isn't my lack of education or my career in fast food that has driven me to this somewhat ghastly understanding. It is that I don't have many friends.
I spend my time sewing away on a currently borrowed sewing machine, and I remember the person who taught me to sew and how wonderful she was.
It brings me down to realize that things have been reduced to petty name calling and mind games.
When does it become appropriate to act half your age and partake in petty gossip like a school girl. I am not referencing just her, but anyone out there. Don't they know words have power, and once they leave your lips you can no longer control that power anymore. It is out there for the world, and you can control it. Sure you can potentially do a bit of damage control but that is about it. The words have spun out in a spiral of hurt and cruel intentions. Why would anyone think behavior like this is acceptable. I mean these people went to college, have degree's, have children even and they act like this.
Granted much of their bull, I am smart enough to be able to prove it wrong when they try to whisper in the ears of those whom they would have on "their side". It sounds stupid but I have been reduced to saving emails and FB conversations, just in case. Is it sad that my inbox must remain full at all times to prove my innocence to the childish games people play.
And then cruelty, plane flat out cruelty to a person who is kind enough to share her journey and pain and some dim witted ass calls her a wacko. I could do nothing but jump to her defense, even if it is futile and those with such hurtful opinions rarely ever change them. Am I to defensive of a person. It is something I tend to do regularly. Defend myself.
Does life ever come into the world of adulthood, or is this what being a grown up is all about?
I spend my time sewing away on a currently borrowed sewing machine, and I remember the person who taught me to sew and how wonderful she was.
It brings me down to realize that things have been reduced to petty name calling and mind games.
When does it become appropriate to act half your age and partake in petty gossip like a school girl. I am not referencing just her, but anyone out there. Don't they know words have power, and once they leave your lips you can no longer control that power anymore. It is out there for the world, and you can control it. Sure you can potentially do a bit of damage control but that is about it. The words have spun out in a spiral of hurt and cruel intentions. Why would anyone think behavior like this is acceptable. I mean these people went to college, have degree's, have children even and they act like this.
Granted much of their bull, I am smart enough to be able to prove it wrong when they try to whisper in the ears of those whom they would have on "their side". It sounds stupid but I have been reduced to saving emails and FB conversations, just in case. Is it sad that my inbox must remain full at all times to prove my innocence to the childish games people play.
And then cruelty, plane flat out cruelty to a person who is kind enough to share her journey and pain and some dim witted ass calls her a wacko. I could do nothing but jump to her defense, even if it is futile and those with such hurtful opinions rarely ever change them. Am I to defensive of a person. It is something I tend to do regularly. Defend myself.
Does life ever come into the world of adulthood, or is this what being a grown up is all about?
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